Last Friday was a typical TGIF day as a career counselor. I had worked several nights and about 55 hours last week and was tired. I got to work and immediately made coffee as I started my day. I asked another staff person who the student was that was sitting at a table near the fireplace just outside our office complex. She looked at me with shock and surprise and said, "You mean you haven't met Joseph Patterson?""
"Patterson?" I responded in shock! That's cool. So I immediately went out of the office area and walked over to the student and with a smile on my face said, "Hey, I understand we might be related!" I made that comment kind of half-hearted. The student, a very sharp young man who I later learned was studying to take the MCAT (test to get into medical school) seemed pleased that I would recognize him. I mentioned that I had noticed he was spending a lot of time in that area each day studying. So it all made sense!
Joseph, or Joe as I call him asked me where my family was from. We talked about connections in Pennsylvania and his eyes lite up. "Pennsylvania?" Joe said. "I bet we are related then!", Joe went on to share. He related that a General Patterson (White man) had moved after the war to the North (Pennsylvania) and he set up a series of cotton mills. He owned plantations in the south and would then have the cotton hauled to the North where his factories would process the cotton.
OK, White male interacting with Black slaves from the south (Oh, did I mention Joseph happens to be Black not that it is a big deal to me but it might help you understand the dynamics better of the story)! I immediately looked at Joe and said, "OK, in other words, my white relatives probably had children with your Black slave relatives, right Joe?" Joe looked at me like he didn't know how to break the news to me and said with a smile on his face, "Mark, I think you nailed it!"
I sat for about 30 seconds not knowing what to say to my new friend and relative Joe. I looked at Joe and he was waiting for me to reply and said, "Joe, I don't know what to say but that I am really sorry! That really isn't something I want to think about and certainly nothing to be proud about!" Up to that point in my life, whenever a Black person would accuse me of the bad treatment of slaves generations ago, my immediate thought was, "Hey, don't blame me, blame those people back then! I wasn't even born yet!" Well, what I had just realized was that "those people back then" were probably related to me. All of a sudden I realized that I truly was a "White Privileged Male"!
So where would I go with that one? I got thinking about Adam and Eve and wondered if we all don't have parts of all races within us. So for me to ever be prejudiced, I would be rejecting my heritage and ancestors. It now took on new meaning.
Today, I ran into Joseph again and I could tell he was pleased to see me. I looked at him and said, "Hey Cousin, how are you doing?" He looked at me and said, "Fine Mr. Patterson!" I responded with, "Mr. Patterson? Mr. Patterson? Joe, we are related! Relatives don't address one another with Mr.or Mrs.!!!!" Joseph laughed and I knew it made him feel comfortable.
Later today Joe was studying in our office area (Academic Success Center) and came into my office. I immediately had him sit down. He looked at me and said, "Mark, Cousin (he seemed to like that). I am applying for medical schools and need to prepare a personal statement. Would you be willing to help me and edit it for me?" I responded with, "Joseph, I would be honored. Anything I can do to help support you and your future, I want to do that!"
All of a sudden I was starting to feel that here was an intelligent young man who was reaching out to me after everything my family might have done negatively to his family and I wondered if I had been in his place, would I have done the same thing to him!" I knew immediately that we HAD to be related. Here was a young man with tons of integrity, a quality that is HUGE in the Patterson clan!
I look forward to getting to know more about Joe after he takes his MCAT exams next weekend. I want Evie and I to have him over for dinner! I feel like some of the disconnectedness of my past might just be getting connected. And the neat thing is, I never realized there was a "disconnect" that had been created by my ancestors. It was now time to stop blaming my ancestors and to reach out and be blessed with having met a new family member!
I will keep you posted!
Markus
No comments:
Post a Comment