The Martha I am referring to was a dear, dear friend, Lorelei Youtzy who we lost to cancer on Christmas morning.
Lori was more than a friend, she was a sister. She struggled with cancer 13 years ago at the time she was pregnant with their sixth child, Nathan. Lori always referred to Nathan as her "miracle" baby. She said that if she hadn't been pregnant, she might not have learned that she had cancer.
Then again this past year, she learned that cancer had returned to her body. We spent days and hours praying for healing in Lori's body. We felt that her family needed her. We needed her and the world needed her. But God took the disease and chose to call Lori home to be with him. As her husband Harold said, "I bet Lori is in Heaven helping God organize things!"
Man, was Lori an organizer or what! She ran a tremendous household of 8 people. Her daily planner looked like a snowstorm in North Dakota. It was full and then again full. She knew exactly where everyone was at all times and what resources each person in her family might need. She knew how to make everything so special and made others feel special as well.
For Lori was a Martha! In her finals weeks of life, Evie and I had several times when we were with Lori and Harold and had great times of prayer. Like I told Harold, "I always went to see Lori to minister to her but found out that I was the one being ministered to!" The day after Thanksgiving we stopped by their home just outside of Sioux City, IA and I remember Lori's comment, "I know one thing for sure. God is going to heal me. He is either going to heal me on earth or going to take me home to be healed!" Well, that is exactly what God did.
After having just lost my mother-in-law, Vera Petersen who died on December 14th, I was pretty numb. And then to receive a telephone call from Harold while Evie and I were in Texas visiting the kids to learn that God had called Lori home a little earlier than we had planned was hard for me to take.
I have never felt pulled in two directions as much as I did that day after talking with Harold. Here we were spending Christmas with Carrie and Marc (something we had planned for months) and were having a great time yet I knew I also wanted to be in Iowa next to Harold to support him and the kids. But Harold gave me permission to not be at the funeral. Evie and I spent New Year's Eve with Harold and the kids (something we have done with the Youtzys for many years). We spent the evening eating good food, playing crazy games and talking about Lori's life and the many memories of the intersections we had between us.
While the two couples had been friends since before we all were married and had kids, Lori and I had a brother/sister relationship that formed during the days we all lived at Kenwood Manor or as we referred to it as the Sanitarium (because all the buildings were painted white!). Lori and I had been in a Bible study together. I was closer to Lori than most of my siblings. She was definitely family!
God took her home. I wasn't ready for that. The day Harold called, I spent some time talking with God, crying and telling God that while I knew he was God, I was REALLY mad at him because he hadn't healed Lori the way I wanted her healed. What I heard in my soul and mind was that it was OK to be mad at God. That God understood how I felt for he had sacrificed his son Jesus who we celebrate his birth on the same day that Lori went home to heaven. When I realized that tremendous gift from God, I then knew Lori wasn't the issue. I knew that she was healed and was in the place we all look forward to being someday. The issue was the fact that the rest of us were left behind. My heart hurt for Harold who now will become father and mother to 6 tremendous young people. And I realized that there wasn't anything I could do to stop the pain and hurt from her death. God would have to fill that hurt. And he has. It has been a witness to us all to see how Harold cared for Lori in the months prior to her death. He was an example of what a Christian husband should be. But to see the peace that Harold was given by God has also been a witness. Why I was off yelling at God, Harold was praising Him for Lori's life and how God was taking care of he and his family! Wow! I had a long way to go in my faith journey I discovered.
As I mentioned earlier, Lori was a Martha. She served. Even a month ago when Evie and I took our good friends Gerry and Susie with us to travel to Hinton to pray with Lori at her request, Lori had asked Harold to prepare some food for us to have in fellowship following our time of prayer. It was suggested we needed to return to Sioux Falls, but I knew Lori and we just couldn't leave until we had a time of fellowship with the Youtzy family! What a special memory!
I told Harold today that I thought the new addition to the Sioux City Gospel Mission (where Harold serves as Executive Director) should be named, "The Lori Youtzy Center for Service". A place where people from all over the world could come to learn how to serve with the style of Martha. Lori has set that mark so high, none of us will ever be able to obtain it. Lori was always looking for ways to serve her family and others. What was Lori's, was also yours. She made their house a great home and even in her final days talked about how she needed to be sure there were some casseroles in the freezer for her family to have in the future.
Wow! Double Wow is all I can say! How does one describe Lori's life? Was she perfect? Of course she wasn't. But she was a child of God and proud of it and let others know it. Her laugh filled the room. Her smile made all feel accepted and loved. Her spirit was contagious. After spending time with Lori, one just wanted to serve in whatever way possible.
So how do we go on? Boy, that is a tough one and one I would like to ask God about someday. I know I wonder why God doesn't take home some of the crabby, nasty, negative people in our world instead of the beautiful, wonderful people like Lori. But that isn't the way it works is it? As I told Harold in a good talk we had the other night at 2:30 in the morning, "It isn't for us to ask God why but rather why not?" God is God and we aren't. What we don't know now, someday we will understand.
I know one thing. My life has been changed. I see it from a different lens than I did several weeks ago. Lori, sweetie, we miss you and love you. Thanks for sharing your life and love with us for the past 33 years! Thanks for laughing at my jokes and loving me when I wasn't easy to love. We look forward to joining you someday in Heaven. But until then, we will continue to serve knowing that the level of service on this earth has been lowered because you are no longer with us.
Love you Sister!
Marko
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